Why do we do it?

Before I continue and dive into more food thoughts, I had to make this addition to my last post.

A couple weeks ago I decided to do another round of Pageant competition. As I was putting together my list of things I needed to do ,“lose weight” found its way to nearly the top of my list. Which was fine. I’ve done this before. I’m familiar with “the camera adds 5 (or 10) pounds.” I know that part of being in a pageant is having your fitness level evaluated. After some amazing sponsors stepped up to help me get the competition ball rolling (Thank you, Ravishly and Alexandria's Formals!) I sat down with my trainer, Breena Martinez, to get the fitness ball rolling. Coming home from that appointment though, I had to stop myself. We had set some fairly drastic goals and put in place a very strict diet and workout regimen. If everything goes as planned, in 8 weeks I’m going to be in about 16 pounds lighter. And something made me pause. Who was I really doing this for? The judges who would evaluate me? The girls I’d be interacting with? My career and the gatekeepers who hold the keys to success? The answer is yes to all of those. But the one thing that was missing was me. Where am I in this process of change?

The reality is, a lot of outside factors tend to define how we think we need to look. Especially if you’re like me and you’ve picked a line of work where you are constantly asking for evaluation (both physical and professional). Since finishing my time with the Miss USA organization, I’d stepped back from pageants, specifically because I didn’t want to just be another size 2 photo-op. I wanted time to enjoy my friends and loved ones. I wanted to not have to wake up at 5 in the morning to run (although running at any other time of day is also incredibly annoying to me). Now I’m diving in again, but this time, I’m savvy. And there’s no chance of letting this round get away from me. Any shaping I do, any weight I lose - or gain - is all for me and my goals. That’s empowering.

For most women maintaining a size 0-4 is not healthy or natural. Before setting an arbitrary goal like, “I want to weigh 110lbs,” or “I need to be a size 2/4/6...” take a look at your life and what you want out of it.

If you want the body of a supermodel take a look at why: do you need it for professional reasons? Maybe you’re a model or an actor looking to take your work to the next level. If your work requires some level of physical fitness than by all means be a professional and hit those marks. But do it safely and without sacrificing proper nutrition. If you’re not in a profession where your figure is your paycheck but you still want to look like a model, more power to you! BUT you should note that professional models have to make fitness their life because it is their livelihood. This means a lifestyle of activity, eating and working out that may be unrealistic for a highschool student, a young professional, or a working mother of 2.

I say this not to discourage you, but to point out that your goals need to be based off of what YOU want out of your fitness, not off of what Cosmo says you “could” look like if you just worked harder.

Fitness is not something you do for someone else. Its something you do for you and you alone. Are you happy at a size 12? You’re in amazing company - look up Robyn Lawley or this month’s Sports Illustrated. Are you already pretty fit, just looking to tighten up a little jiggle because you love to lay out? Brilliant! Are you a foodie and perfectly happy at whatever weight that puts you? The culinary world should thank you. My point is that you can’t let someone else - your trainer, your parents, your agent, your boyfriend, your boss, your TV - tell you what you should look like. Its a lifestyle choice that you have the privilege of making. So make it! Set healthy goals and celebrate where they take you! Whether its to joining a gym, cutting out fast food, or just adding a walk to your lunch break. Your fitness goals should make you feel great, not feel like a death match with impossible standards.

Questions

What are your top 3 goals?

• Before moving on I want you to sit down and write out three things that you want out of your fitness journey this year. And don’t just say you want to lose 10 lbs. Thats easy. Say why:

“I want to lose 5 lbs so that I can fit back into my wedding dress for our anniversary.”

“I want to smile when I see my reflection in the mirror.”

“I want to increase my energy through cartio work so I can play with my kids more.”

• Also avoid goals that depend on other people:

“I want to look better so Jim will notice me.”

“I want to be as thin as the other girls at school.”

These things make for bad goals because you can’t ultimately control them. But you can influence them. Think back to a time when you completed a difficult task with excellence. Think of the pride, the confidence that welled up in you. Did people notice? You bet they did! Success makes us happy and people are attracted to happy people.

Post these goals where you will see them every day! These are the reasons that are going to keep you motivated on those days you feel like throwing in the towel.

#pageants #selfconfidence #acting #fitgirl #fitness